A reflection from longtime foster Lotte Commerford

When people hear that you are fostering bottle babies, be it feline or canine, the first

reaction/question is normally “How are you able to let them go after you invested that much

time, care and affection?” followed by “That’s why I don’t do it. I could never let them go”

Add to that fostering medically fragile creatures…which is in a completely different emotional

category.

Grief about “Letting your babies go” is one thing. It’s always bittersweet and let’s just face it or

admit it…in your eyes, nobody is good enough for your precious little ones! But, helping the

adopters pick out the right food, toys, litter and exchanging phone numbers for updates or

help, does make letting go a bit easier. Also, telling yourself that you gave then the best start

for a great life helps…you can do exactly that again for the next batch and save lives.

If you take in a medically fragile foster, be it part of a litter of bottle babies or and adult or

juvenile they hand over to you to try and keep alive and maybe even thrive, it’s a different

“animal” altogether!!

You always start hopeful. After all, you have a lot of experience, common sense, all the right

equipment and an amazing support system. Most of the times, it works out and you are

thankful/proud of your success to bring roadkill back to life.

Then there are the cases where you start out hopeful…and it looks promising for a bit…then

takes a turn. No matter what you try, you find yourself on that emotional medical roller

coaster. And then you realize, no matter what you are doing, nature has other plans. You hold

your foster as it is passing peacefully, listening to your heartbeat…. Or, you look into the

crate/carrier and you find it lifeless. Acknowledge, that it is an immense and profound grief and

run with it. Cry, find a box and soft blanket to bury it in, paint a rock to put on top of the grave

and go through the motions.

You’ll doubt yourself for a bit, you’ll wonder if you ever knew what you were doing and ponder

giving up fostering altogether, because it’s painful at times.

Give yourself some grace…and time. Then think about all your successes, against all odds. Think

about how many made it because of you and pull strength out of that.

You’ll have grief flashbacks but…the next batch is waiting…and if you need to take some time to

recalibrate, do it. You can’t pour from and empty cup!

But, at some point, pull your big girl panties up and get back in the game. You need it and the

babies need you!